By: Ndabenhle Myeza

Coming out of the closet takes a lot of courage. LGBTIQ members risk hatred, bigotry homophobia, excommunication self-loathing dehumanization and death to make such a life changing decision, this has prompted me to agree with the psychologist who assert that homophobia is a mental illness issue so is racism and anti-Semitism. I am a straight male with a profound respect and value for humanity I don’t feel uncomfortable around human beings of any orientation because I am content with my being. Hetero- insecurity is destructive to one’s spiritual development and I can’t speak for religion because I have serious issues with organised religion but I firmly believe that as a Christian I have a responsibility to practice without flinching Christhood.

Maybe we need to take Jesus out of the Christian machinery so that we go through life embracing it all fully and feeling it all deeply. That we don’t hide behind hatred anger and homophobia. That we show up. That we laugh. That we cry. That we hurt. That we heal. That we care. That we love. And that we wake up the next morning and sign up for it all over again.

It is disheartening to listen to an insecure straight guy. Straight-identifying guys are insecure because they are hiding latent homosexual feelings which they do not want to see the light of day. It’s understandable because such homosexual feelings, if revealed, would offend their wives and girlfriends and this causes self-righteous anger. Life is simple if we become self -aware, when we nurture our spirituality learn about our own sexuality and relationship with GOD, but when we abandon ourselves to rely on social construct of what gender is and pursue opinions of what a man and a woman is supposed to be, our own spiritual awakening will delay after having caused harm to our selves.

Whenever you become defensive about anything, know that you have identified with an illusion. I always challenge men that hate homosexuality by asking a simple question: Do you derive your sense of self from thought?  Whenever we are identified with the thought, we get angry and defensive with the other people. When self – awareness deepens homophobia dissipates if you struggle with it. When one’s manhood is identified one’s ego, It turns up in feelings of inferiority or self-hatred because ego is the only image you have of yourself that gives you a sense of identity—and that identity is derived from the things you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying about you that you’ve decided to accept as truth.  We all need to take a look at our manhood and redefine it away from social construct only then can we heal.

Anger against homophobia will ruin us, one day we will wake up just shadows of our true selves.