I honestly don’t even know where to start, since my gender identity is something that’s been so prominent in my life for as long as I can remember. I always knew, I just took time to stand my ground, and own who I really am and what I felt.
People tend to misinterpret gender identity with sexuality, but in a nutshell I can say that gender identity is who you go to bed as whereas sexuality is who you go to bed with. And on that note, I’ve always felt and believed I was a girl, I remember being a child, praying to God and wishing that I wake up with a different reproductive organ than the one I was born with, wanting nice long silky hair. Looking back, I can see that all I wanted was for my exterior to aesthetically conform to how I internally felt.
I first came out as gay, mind you when I came out as gay I had already been doing more research on what being “transgender” is for two years and my mother having run an NGO based on this at the time made things a bit easier (I always say that job was purely Gods work in my mother’s life). A year into conforming as “gay” I came out as transgender. It’s crazy how to my mother I came out as trans from the get go whereas at school and the community I hid behind being gay, in a way, I was basically still closeted. We are now living in a society where being gay is becoming more accepted and gay people are somewhat some sort of “entertainment” and something to give people a good chuckle as opposed to being transgendered.
Looking back now I’m grateful for everything I have gone through, good and bad, even though there were days whereby I wanted to kill myself and give up, I knew I had to chew through it because I have a lot of work to do on this earth, so here I am, still going.
I started my Hormone Replacement Treatment (HRT) on the 25th of April 2019, so I’ve been medically transitioning for a couple of months now. Everyone’s life is tough, and the cross I’ve been given to bear I was given for a reason. UNkulunkulu won’t give me ubunzima okungaphezu kwamandla ami, so I’m grateful for every fight I’ve had to face in this society for being transgender, and I’m just grateful things are getting better for me.