Marriage is about becoming a team.You are going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then things blow up, but the beauty o marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you will always figure out a way to ge through. Read below about a beautiful story of Nandi Mrubata – Nogemane and Nolu Nogemane – Mrubata CIVIL UNION…
Nandi Mrubata Nongemane is partner A
Q. Getting married was probably the biggest step you have taken in this relationship where did the courage come from?
A. We have always wanted to get married but we knew that it was not an easy decision to take then, putting into consideration if our families would accept the concept of marriage between us.
Another concern was if we were strong enough as a couple to face the challenges of being a lesbian black couple getting married, which is still taboo in our culture and community. But our commitment to each other, and years of ‚”doing life together”‚ gave us all the courage to finally get married and make things official.
Q. I am sure it was time consuming planning your wedding, did you hire a wedding planner?
A. Yes, we hired an events company, which basically had an exclusive wedding package which consisted of catering, venue, deco, photographer and videographer . Nolu being a designer herself was the cherry on top. We basically started planing way before the big announcement, so the ideas have always been there and we basically built our concept over time and the events company executed things exactly how we wanted.
Q. What are the most important things one need to consider before signing?(home affairs registration)
A. Firstly and most importantly you both need to be ready for the union. Secondly you must know know which marriage contract you are going to choose. Lastly you must decide which surname you are both keeping. We agreed on ‚a double-barrel, which means we both keep our surnames and add on each others surname at the end.
Q. Who is your favourite lesbian couple and Why?
A. Very close friends of ours Lebo & Athi.
They’re lovely people to be around, very understanding to each other and always put each other first.
Q. Who selected songs to be played on your wedding day?
A. We both did, until Nandi fell asleep halfway and woke up midnight while I was still working on the doc, only to change our entrance song last minute.
Q. Did you do traditional wedding? kindly share all the details
A. No, we did not.
Q. What is your ideal family set up? Or is it existing already? Tell us more about it.
A. It is partly existing already, we have been living together for the past 7 years already now and we have a little girl (age 6) that we are currently in the process of fostering, she has been under our care since the age of 2 years. Eventually we plan on having two more kids in about 1 / 2 years from now *excited!
Q. Where did you go for honey moon and how was it?
A. We celebrated our honeymoon around Cape Town for 2 days , we went to the Chrystal Towers Hotel.
Q. Who was your marriage officer?
A. At the wedding celebration venue we did not have a marriage officer, the idea was that we had already exchanged our rings and vows at Home Affairs, so we decided not to again.
Q. Please finish the sentence individually. According to you Love is…
Q. Nandi …Patient‚ Patient
Q. Nolu …Accepting someone as they are and knowing you can only change so much about them, and loving them regardless.
Q. Please finish the sentence Individually. Getting married to my partner …
A. Nandi … Is like getting married to my best friend.
A. Nolu …Has given me the confidence to love her out loud even more unapologetically.
Q. What can you say to parents, who find it difficult to accept? and to the couple who want to get married and there is no support from the family?
A. Parents consider your children”s happiness, it is 2021 now.
If it feels right between you and your partner do it! You can only do so much in changing people‚ views and perceptions regarding sexuality and religion.
Q. Did you have any Lobola negotiations prior? How it happened?
What is your take on same sex LOBOLA negotiations?
A. No we did not. We are literally 50/50 with everything in our relationship, so personally we did not want to complicate things coz we couldn’t decide who gets to lobola who and why, hence we went with the white traditional modern wedding route and we are happy with that decision. Both our families were fully understanding of our decision of wanting a union between us legally and officially.