By: Jowena Qwabe

Embracing the feminine side of a stud

I always say, that the way I dress says nothing about who I am and that it is but a “tool” used to attract the object of my affections (women). 

But what I never say, is that close to 8 years ago it was the closest most tangible thing I had to the homosexual community. 

That in the fog of my adolescence, when puberty had me by the nipples I wished I had a pair of testicles to carry my desires to every goddess I swore to love just to feel a little light. 

So I suppose this is a letter to my thirteen year old self who is not myself, whose outward appearance is but a form of rebellion because their insides are probably softer than the girls they dream about. That girls aren’t the only thing you dream about but afraid that if you aren’t constant in the living it, then you probably aren’t “that serious about it”‘ 

To the ones who still miss their sister’s because we stripped on our “macho strides” and accidentally became the men we were never attracted to. 

I just want to tell you…

It is okay to be a daughter, to be an aunt and to dream of being a wife to a wife because rainbows are more than just one colour.

They are pots of gold and all the beauty to a sky that just missed the rain by a hint of light. And as you grow, I pray you realize that who you are doesn’t have to be a fight about who you are not. Because who you are not is none of your business.